Surprise!

I have never enjoyed celebrating my birthday. Growing up, my birthday was the most celebrated day in my family. I would get the biggest cake ever. Square cake. The cake always had corners. That is alright because nowadays, cakes come in all forms. A few months ago, i saw a cake that resembled a penis. A whole penis shaped cake. Testicles and all. This world can be a very confusing place. Art comes in different forms now and that can be a bit confusing.
Even when i was growing up, i always never enjoyed the singing. That high pitched off tune birthday song always had me questioning the vocal talents within my family . Do not get me started on the baloons. However, it is just one day in an entire year. I think the reason i have never really loved my birthday is because I have never been in control of what happens around me on the particular day. I love being fully aware of what is going on around me. It makes me less nervous. Also, i hate parties. Loud music can be really annoying. People can be really boring at times. Gifts can become a burden. It means i would have to remember your birthday and make sure you get a gift in return. The pressure just makes me sweat a lot. Also, the complimentary smiles that have to go with each gift received makes me want to pull my hair out. Always.
My friends are allowed to forget my birthday. In fact, they are expected to. Or just send a subtle note to acknowledge it. A few close people are expected to remember it and go over the top about it. It is a catastrophe. I am confusing. I, myself am confused by these feelings. The world is a big giant confusing place. There is nothing much we can do about it.